i felt like telling what's up with me and why i haven't been painting. i finished high school last spring, and now i'm studying fashion design in the university of art and design in helsinki. i should be studying art, but couldn't get in to the place i wanted. i figured there would be time to paint too, but the subject is so cruel that i've had almost no free time at all (apart from christmas break, but i just slept about 16 hours a day and watched tv cause i was so tired).

i'm quite unstable and get depressed really easily, so this hasn't been easy for me. i've also felt oddly guilty for not painting. and unhappy, i'm so ambitious about it and feel like everyone else is just getting better and better while i'm stuck with a subject i'm not really passionate about. i've been doing illustrations (for Guardian! eek) to earn some money and allthough i like doing that it's not the same than doing "my own work".

now that school's getting less hard i'm feeling a lot better. a couple of weeks ago i painted a new picture i'm very happy with and i'm coming up with new ideas everyday and can't wait to paint them. soon i'll have a lot more time too. thanks to everyone who's ever complimented my work, it means much and i often come here re-reading your comments. makes me want to be better too.

oh and i also wanted to say that i got engaged last year! we've been together for four years and i think we'll get married in ten years or something.